The wonders of trust
TRUST
Trust and Relationship go together
To me, the word ‘Trust’ go hand in hand with ‘Relationship’.
From your interaction with passers-by, to your relationship with family and partners, to your connection with nature, with food and so on.
And most importantly Trust fuels the relationship you have with yourself.
Your body, your emotions, your thoughts.
If there is zero trust, there is zero relationship.
So trust basically is your believe that someone has your best interest at heart. Including you choosing in your own best interest!
2 ingredients for a trusting relationship
I believe there’s 2 main things that need to happen to rebuild/mend/create trust in relationship:
1. One party – has to demonstrate again and again how they are considerate of your best interest. And not expect you to trust them without having earned/proved anything, at the very least respecting your boundaries.
2. The other party – has to again and again take the emotional risk with bravery and courage, to trust a little bit more each time. And handle their fears/resistance/uncertainties/distrust with a therapist/coach. Because although your feelings of distrust are legit and strong and real, they may not be accurate in this instance for this person, they may be a projection from the past.
Bottom line is, trust grows when you know someone's capitalising on your best interest too. It also grows when someone benefits from considering your needs/preferences/desires/fears. It’s when someone is on your side.
But but but! Not at the expense of their own interests either as that’s self-betrayal, an email for another day!
A beautiful state to be in
I get this question a lot ‘How’?
How do I trust myself more? How do I let go of doubt? How do I get rid of the fear of uncertainty? How do I reprogram my subconscious to trust others? How do I trust life?
But the more appropriate question to ask is ‘Why’.
After knowing why you are the way you are, why you feel the way you feel, why you behave the way you behave…With compassion, understanding and empathy…
The How then makes more sense to your protective brain, processing and accepting easier; and you’ll be able to flow towards where you say you want to be (a trusting state of being) with greater ease and grace.
Trust is a beautiful state to embody. It’s feeling safe in this world. It’s a sense of secure attachment to your partner. It’s a firm belief that life has got your back. It’s a deep exhale that you will be ok.