How to unwind from high stress
SELF REGULATION
Long term stress impacts your entire system
A bit of stress is good and necessary, called “eustress”. It’s short term, there’s an end in sight, and it may give you feelings of fulfillment, sense of achievement, excitement, meaning and motivation. But when these stressors happen over a long time and become repeated events and are not managed, your whole system gets dysregulated.
Operating on perpetual high stress levels is unhealthy. I’ve been there, through the years of back-to-back pregnancies + breastfeeding, marital woes and divorce, unhealed childhood wounds, those took a toll on my entire nervous system and left me frazzled, absent minded and a zombie.
You might be facing other types of chronic stresses, from work, health problems, financial struggles, lack of support in parenting, family expectations, low self-worth, all of which take a toll on your overall wellbeing!
Meaning, your fight-flight response becomes overly active, putting your body in a very stressed, high-alert state. Then you find yourself with poor sleep, digestive problems, unexplained body pains feeling out of control panic dread and experiencing that sudden explosion of emotions where you’re like “omg didn’t know where all that came from”.
Ways to regulate your nervous system
1. Take Deep breaths – Deep breaths send a signal to your brain that no emergency is happening. Try box breathing, where you inhale 4 counts, hold it 4 counts, exhale 4 counts, hold it 4 counts.
2. Body scan meditation – Tune in to your 5 senses, and experience the sensations that arise from your internal organs. Go back into your body.
3. Moderate exercise - like yoga or a walk!
4. Heal childhood wounds - A lack of secure attachment between child and parents/caregivers disrupts the child's nervous system and really narrows their window of tolerance to stress. I'm talking about a parent-child relationship that is trusting, safe, consistent and attuned.
5. Develop your spiritual practice – where you frequently and regularly acknowledge a force/energy/power/intelligence greater than you and connect with that, the divine.
6. Co-regulate – engage a coach/therapist like me to guide and support you through this new ‘thing’ that you’re trying to learn.
The importance of a regulated nervous system
You’ll start to notice shifts in your life when you know how to regulate your nervous system.
For example, boundaries. You’ll find yourself steering away from people whose own nervous systems are wired, or who create chaos in your life.
Parenting. You’ll parent with more ease and way more empathy especially in those testing moments!
Relationships. You’ll engage in relationships that nurture and provide (emotional) safety for you. You can choose more wisely.
Thinking. Instead of being stuck in brain-fog, you 'do life' with better clarity.
Overall, a feeling of calm, a ‘sureness’ in your being, a quiet-confidence and trust in yourself to be able to forgive yourself for making mistakes and also grace to ride the vicissitudes of modern life.