The often overlooked factor in self-love
SELF KNOWLEDGE
Making personal choices
Have you ever acquiesced at the behest of others only to belatedly realise they weren't in your best interest?
Sought advice from somewhere/someone that felt 'off' but you went ahead anyway, then got angry (at them or at yourself) when the outcome wasn't what you expected?
Have you ever fallen for someone only to later discover they've changed and are not who you fell in love with?
Self knowledge is essential for decision making, especially when it comes to personal life choices like jobs/businesses, choosing partners, and setting (loving and clear) boundaries with children.
Steps to self knowledge
These are the first 3 steps to self knowledge that I teach my clients. And I am tremendously proud of them for courageously facing themselves, warts and all!
Self awareness – become the observer of your experience, thoughts, feelings.
Self understanding – infuse compassion and empathy to your painful experiences.
Self acceptance – acceptance doesn’t mean you condone it nor want to remain stuck, acceptance simply means you take your feelings to be real. Not necessarily accurate, but real!
Self knowledge is self love
I’ve been in the camp of not heeding my own cues and making choices in accordance to how others expect, but this led to nothing but confusion, misunderstanding, resentment, powerlessness, and extreme low self-esteem.
Only after being sick and tired of my own mess and deciding to change, did I slowly learn how to 'see' myself, which led to accepting myself 'warts and all'! which led to trusting my value which led to being confident in my decisions which led to more power and peace, and which led to being a calmer parent plus the cherry on top it led me to receive a way more fitting ‘romantic’ relationship!
Self-knowledge empowers you as it affords you owning your life and taking responsibility for your choices; vs listening to others and then blaming them for the inaccurate advice (based on good intentions, I’m sure!), or falling for others' inauthentic personas and then feeling duped afterwards.
It shifts us from a self-hating state of victimhood and blame to a self-loving state of responsibility.