How self awareness can improve your communication
SELF EXPRESSION
What so important about this?
Have you ever said yes when you really meant no?
Have you ever held back doing something you thought of to avoid potentially upsetting someone or some group and causing them to get pissed off/ridicule you/call you sensitive/overthinking/not doing things ‘properly’?
Are you ashamed of some of your deepest desires and needs?
Do you even know what your deepest desires and needs are?
Well then there is a part in you that’s not quite being seen yet, and most likely wants to be revealed.
Don’t worry, most people on the planet (myself included) are some form of inauthentic as this. And that’s ok!
But, truth always wins.
How do I express myself?
By first looking into who you really are, can you then express that to the world.
And you can’t express your true self nor communicate your real feelings if you don’t even know what it is you are feeling!
1. Body sensations - I always begin with the most obvious tangible thing, the body. The body stores sensations that lead us to our emotions. Have you noticed, you may feel the fluttering anxiety of introducing yourself in the pit of your stomach, or you might feel shame as a dark cloud nearby which you're avoiding to lock gaze with.
2. Emotions – Use the emotions wheel below to link the event/trigger to your body sensation to the emotion itself. Become apt at the vocabulary of your emotions.
3. Thoughts – What thoughts do those emotions activate? What assumptions are you making based on those emotions that came up?
4. Beliefs – I get my clients to challenge their beliefs, who by the way I'm super proud of for their courage in going through this uncomfortable process! What theories do you have about yourself and about life based on this event? Are they accurate?
Being real is healthy!
The problem is, if we continue hiding parts of ourselves that want so badly to be seen and accepted, they’ll eventually make their way out through backdoor ways like manipulation, dropping hints, which ruin relationships.
Or through chronic physical ailments. That rash that just won’t go away, that back ache that just keeps coming back, those addictive patterns and coping mechanisms etc.
I’ve been on the extreme end of inauthenticity, and I’m not saying I have mastered this, but when I left the banking world and ended my marriage, the risks were completely worth it. The incompatible situations fell away, making room for people and circumstances which are a truer match to my authentic energy.
If you so wish to be loved for who you really are, then it’s time you showed your true self. Not an edited version whom you think might get you likes, which might keep you safe from ridicule and 'weird stares'; but it’ll eat away at your insides because your unique soul is always seeking to be expressed in this life, through you.