Stress comes from lack of trust
Acceptance & Trust
Stressing over what you cannot control
Do you notice that when you’re stressed, you’re either really unhappy about one of 3 things, or maybe all 3 at once!
Upset about an event that has happened
Upset about a current situation
Upset about a potential outcome
Common thing between the 3 is that,
you’re not accepting reality.
Focus on accepting the present first
I know all this too well. I used to blame my parents for the way I was brought up and how I ended up as an adult with so much pain and having to seek therapy for all the damage done.
But I realised, I cannot change the past!
Not only that, but with much inner-work and 'building' myself again, do I feel so much more understanding for those who cared for me.
I could NEVER accept myself for who I was, I always had to be proving myself in fitness, pursuits, projects, undertaking courses, travelling to new countries etc.
I just could not be.
And, fearing the future. What if something happens.
What if I fail?
what if I get judged?
what if I don't meet expectations?
what if I don't meet society's standards of motherhood, being a modern woman, being Singaporean, being Catholic, being into wellness, being healthy, being smart etc.?
The solution is simple, yet the challenging part is implementing what you've learnt. I could not have done it without the support and guidance of my coaches and therapists along the way. And I definitely could not have done it without my own decision, commitment and persistence.
On a higher level, nothing could have been transformed without the grace, inspiration and serendipities from God.
The solution to stress
PAST - Stressing over things that are beyond your control is futile. Like the past, you can’t change it, best way is to change your perspective on it and the meaning you gave to the painful events that happened.
PRESENT - Discerning what is within your control and what isn’t, what’s yours to take and what’s not. Eg. Taking responsibility over other adults’ emotions is a recipe for misery and stress.
FUTURE – The uncertainty of the unknown can be scary, and choosing to stay optimistic about this is vital so you don’t end up stressing over something that hasn’t even happened yet. This requires TRUST, in life and yourself.
“Trust that life works for you not against you, and self-trust that you are capable of handling whatever life dishes out.”
Now HOW do you implement these solutions?