How to cure people-pleasing
CONNECTION
There’s only 1 thing you need to know
There are countless themes that you can read up on in order to ‘feel better’: self-awareness, self-confidence, self-trust, self-acceptance, self-knowledge, self-care, self-love….endless!
The common thread that unites all these themes is…
Self!
When you connect to your deeper self, it’s almost a guarantee that everything else unfolds naturally:
✨ your physical wellbeing
✨ mental peace
✨ emotional state
✨ energetic vibes
✨ and very importantly: your relationships
Connection is the cure
Relationships are by far the most important thing to us in this lifetime, you see as social-creatures our biggest pain is isolation or the feeling of loneliness. And, both people-pleasing & loneliness are due to 'disconnection'.
But what kind of disconnection
To your self
People-pleasing: That was me a decade ago, disconnected from myself and desperately seeking belonging and connection to others in the form of garnering their approval and acceptance.
Loneliness: If your social calender is full and you ensure you're never at home (alone) on a Friday or Saturday evening, or you're always connected (phone, emails, news, audiobooks, online shopping, music, podcasts), then you might not only be avoiding connecting with yourself, but also how stressful is that kind of lifestyle!
Yes we humans crave connection, in fact our survival depends on it. And, it feels great to connect and share experiences doesn’t it!
But the real answer is not about connecting externally to erase our loneliness and satisfy our (insatiable) people-pleasing need, but to connect internally.
What does that even mean
Connecting to your body, to your heart, your inner-child, connect to your intuition, and more!
Your wellspring of love
When you access the deeper parts of your being, you realise empathy and compassion for yourself, which you'd then naturally extend to others. Otherwise, you can't give what you don't have.
And when you are connected to your body, you're familiar with its limits and can work within those boundaries instead of pushing it 24/7/365 (eg. saying no to that extra glass of wine, declining that invitation because you're tired, not acquiescing to that favour being asked of you, or being gentle on your body to avoid injuries).
So, what are your thoughts on this?