Familiar may not equal good
SELF AWARENESS
Your brain chooses what it knows over what’s good
Ever been upset by your partner/parent/child that you end up retreating into a few hours (or days for some!) of withdrawn affection, where you don’t touch, don’t hug, don’t even talk.
Ewww that feeling! I know all about it, suddenly clamming shut the moment I get any whiff of potential judgement or rejection. The moment my abandonment-wound has been rubbed, that’s it, don’t expect any interaction to come from me, for at least the next 8 hours.
I mean, my brain thinks it’s a darn good idea to remain cautious/vigilant/insecure/fearful, cuz I’m self-protecting from further potential hurt.
In fact, that feeling of defensiveness feels so familiar, we’re experts on self-protection!
But does it feel good? No.
Do you want to trust more? Yes.
Do you want to be close with your partner and loved ones? Yes.
How to get out of this unhealthy loop
1. Become aware – of this recurring pattern, and don’t beat yourself up for it.
2. Know the difference – discern between what feels familiar and what’s actually healthy
3. Heal – the layer of pain and hurt around being disappointed, abandoned, rejected, unseen, unimportant etc.
Choosing 'good' over familiar
It’s not that you don’t want to love or trust wholeheartedly, it’s just your familiar insecurities and pain getting in the way of closeness and connection.
So there’s a very good reason why you’re feeling the way you do. From all your past wounds.
Once you can get into that self-acceptance state in every cell of yours, then we talk about changing your patterns & behaviours and all that rewiring/reprogramming.
Until then, expect your new 'ways' to be short and temporary, out the window by the next time you're exhausted and triggered. They simply won't stick.
Click the button below to start healing your emotional wounds right now.